The Upside to Anger

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This article was originally published on August 21, 2014

Have you ever stopped to think about what was really upsetting you?


We have all been in a situation that we were really pissed off about something. Let’s say you get mad when someone comes behind you and puts a dirty dish in the sink after you just finished doing the dishes or your friend doesn’t show up for a lunch date after confirming with them the day before. These are random examples and I am sure you have a few of your own to relate to.

Let’s explore the lunch scenario as the example. You spoke to your friend the day before and confirmed having lunch for the next day. You break from work and drive to the meeting spot and wait. Maybe they are running late? Some time goes by and you call your friend to check on them. You get their voicemail so you leave a message. After waiting a little longer you realize they are a no-show. You proceed to go back to work ANGRY.

What are we REALLY getting angry about? The simple answer is that you got mad because they stood you up. Perhaps if we looked past the surface issue we would find that it is truly deeper than that. Our feelings are driven by deeper meanings. Perhaps respect is something that is really important to you and the friend obviously didn’t respect you as a person when they chose to not show up or call. Maybe integrity holds a strong value in your life and when someone does not do what they said they were going to do it violates what is important to you. The key is really asking yourself WHAT about this situation has made you so mad.

Digging deeper to find what really matters gives you some clear understanding about yourself and that person. Once you have settled down and gotten past the anger, your ability to communicate your feelings to that person is sharpened by the acute awareness of what was important about the situation. The bonus is that you have learned a little more about yourself and will have gained some tools in determining your actions and reactions for situations to come.  The next time you get mad, stop and ask yourself WHY?
 
Stay Tuned…

Are you ready to try on a new way of being?     
Contact me at info@tuneintolife.com.  Find me on Facebook.
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Jennifer Adams, Tune In To LifeAbout Jennifer Adams:
Heal, fuel, feed, repeat…
Here I am taking the journey from corporate life to purpose life. I have climbed the ladder of life in parenting, work and self-development. What once was a woman who lived the “should” life, I became inspired to live the purposeful life. Always finding myself being the one people called for help or answers, I decided to pursue it further. With a suitcase of wisdom and carry-on of wit, I am traveling to the land of passion. I rock at bringing out the inner awesome in others. It was always there in various stages and capacities but I pushed it aside to do what I was “supposed” to do. The gates have opened and I am off…to chase the dream of breaking down the walls and limiting beliefs that keep others from truly showing up for this thing called life. 

A little background about me:
From single mom at 18 to Vice President of a Corporation at 38, I spent 20 years healing, fueling, and feeding. I dropped out of high school 2 months before graduation, pregnant, and got my GED. I went to work full time at various jobs always working to make ends meet. I have what I like to call a “Custom College Degree.” I took more classes than what it took to get a degree, just not in the traditional curriculum determined by the schools. I have accounting, business and information technology education that I needed to get the job done, do it well and move up. It worked! I am now married with two awesome kids and I have no regrets. I love working out and living a healthy life style. My dream is to have a log house on the water with tons of property for flowers, vegetables and English Bulldogs and you know what, I WILL have it!      Stay Tuned….

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Anger, Jennifer Adams, Tune In To Life

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