Red Lights & Grocery Lines
Are you one of those people that lives life in fast forward?
I have always prided myself on my ambition and drive. I strive for accomplishing all that I can in a day and sometimes I cross a few things off tomorrow’s list too. Being the “go-to girl” has its perks. It also has its down side. There are days when I depend on red lights and grocery store lines to keep up. Every second counts when you are juggling an abundance of roles and responsibilities. I don’t think twice about going for a Red Bull or 5-Hour Energy to pick me up so I can keep going. My morning cup of Joe is four shots of espresso. Whatever it takes to be all things at all times!
The other day, I woke at my normal 4:30 am and stumbled down the stairs to start my espresso. I stopped at the mirror in the hallway and I took a good long look at myself. Busted! I was absolutely and utterly drained. I stood there for a few more minutes in awe at what I saw. It was in that moment that I realized being all things to everyone and everything was the worst thing I could do. “What have I done to myself?” I spent the rest of the day thinking about that face that stared back at me.
What I realized is the quantity of what I was racing to accomplish was compromising the not only the quality of the work but my quality of life. Vitality is important and essential when it comes to truly living life. Reality check…My over-achieving, people-pleasing ways are self-destructive. Like the Tasmanian devil, I was blowing right by all the little moments and not even realizing what I was missing. Note to self: STOP! The world will not end if I don’t get something done.
A particularly bitter finding about myself was that I was using busy as an avoidance tactic. If I kept busy, I wouldn’t have time for uncomfortable conversations or time to feel uncomfortable feelings. (I refer to Chicken Shit) This was particularly disturbing because I never realized it. Busy was a way of being, MY way of being. I didn’t know any other way and I certainly didn’t see how it was hindering my clarity on life.
I am spending some very conscious time slowing down. I will admit that it is pretty hard for me. When you force yourself to take five, you are actually giving yourself so much more than a mere five minutes. You are allowing yourself to think freely about your day and how you are feeling both mentally and physically. My thoughts are slowly turning to the important things I have been neglecting like family and friends, the beauty in the sunset and talks with the kids. These things are so much more important than emails, Facebook statuses, and Words with friends (or whatever game you are hooked on). Who cares if the floors are dirty and the laundry is piling up? All those things that need to be done will be there tomorrow waiting for a happier, healthier and rested me.
About Jennifer Adams:
Heal, fuel, feed, repeat…
Here I am taking the journey from corporate life to purpose life. I have climbed the ladder of life in parenting, work and self-development. What once was a woman who lived the “should” life, I became inspired to live the purposeful life. Always finding myself being the one people called for help or answers, I decided to pursue it further. With a suitcase of wisdom and carry-on of wit, I am traveling to the land of passion. I rock at bringing out the inner awesome in others. It was always there in various stages and capacities but I pushed it aside to do what I was “supposed” to do. The gates have opened and I am off…to chase the dream of breaking down the walls and limiting beliefs that keep others from truly showing up for this thing called life.
A little background about me
From single mom at 18 to Vice President of a Corporation at 38, I spent 20 years healing, fueling, and feeding. I dropped out of high school 2 months before graduation, pregnant, and got my GED. I went to work full time at various jobs always working to make ends meet. I have what I like to call a “Custom College Degree.” I took more classes than what it took to get a degree, just not in the traditional curriculum determined by the schools. I have accounting, business and information technology education that I needed to get the job done, do it well and move up. It worked! I am now married with two awesome kids and I have no regrets. I love working out and living a healthy life style. My dream is to have a log house on the water with tons of property for flowers, vegetables and English Bulldogs and you know what, I WILL have it! Stay Tuned….