A MUST READ: Watching Friends Fade Away: My Personal Journey with Alzheimer’s and Dementia

There are some stories that are difficult to write. This is one of them.

Over the past several years, I’ve watched five people I care deeply about battle Alzheimer’s Disease or Dementia. Each journey has been different. Each one has been heartbreaking. And each one has reminded me just how precious our memories really are.

A Lifetime of Friends and Memories

My oldest friend, Steve, was someone I’d known for over 60 years. We shared decades of laughter, milestones, and life experiences. About 10 years ago, Alzheimer’s began slowly stealing pieces of the man we all knew and loved.

Recently, Steve fell while shopping and suffered a broken ankle. What seemed like a simple accident led to a stay in a rehabilitation facility. Unfortunately, his health declined rapidly. He was unhappy, confused, and far from the life he had known. He later suffered a heart attack and passed away about a month ago.

Losing Steve wasn’t just losing a lifelong friend. It was watching Alzheimer’s slowly take him long before his heart finally stopped beating.

The Weight of Caregiving

Just recently, I traveled to Colorado to spend time with another longtime friend, Doug and his wife, Gail. Doug has been diagnosed with both Alzheimer’s and Dementia.

The changes were impossible to ignore since the last time I saw him.

His speech was slower. Conversations were more difficult. There were moments when he searched for words that simply wouldn’t come.

As difficult as it was to watch my friend struggle, I couldn’t help but think about Gail. Like millions of caregivers across America, she now carries responsibilities that most of us can hardly imagine. During my visit, I tried to help in any way I could, but I also realized that caregivers need support long after friends return home.

Then came another phone call that caught me completely off guard.

I reached out to an old work colleague, Fran, who I hadn’t spoken with in more than a year. When she answered, something seemed different. At first, I wondered if she wasn’t feeling well.

Then she quietly told me she had been diagnosed with Dementia and now lives in a care facility.

The conversation broke my heart.

This was someone I had worked with, laughed with, and known for years. Hearing the changes in her voice made the disease suddenly feel even more personal.

Stories Close to Home

Closer to home, many people in Cortez, Florida know our dear friends Bruce and Paula.

If you’ve ever seen Paula with my little Shih Tzu, Mookie, you’ve witnessed something special. Mookie absolutely adores her, and the feeling is mutual. Every time they see each other, he leaps into her arms and stays there, soaking up every hug and every minute together.

Several years ago, Bruce and Paula made Florida their home. But as Paula’s condition progressed, they made the difficult decision to move back to Maryland, where family could help provide the care and support they both needed.

It couldn’t have been an easy decision, but it was the right one.

A Song from the Heart

Finally, I recently spoke with my friend Billy Rice about his own family’s experience. Billy lost his beloved sister, Jeraldine, to Alzheimer’s several years ago.

He described her as a remarkable woman whose memory continues to encourage him every day.

That love inspired Billy to write a song honoring those living with Alzheimer’s and the families who walk beside them. Music has a unique way of expressing emotions that words alone sometimes cannot, and Billy’s tribute comes straight from the heart.

Billy wrote, “Jeri’s Song” …. which you can listen to at the bottom of this story.

Alzheimer’s and Dementia don’t just affect the person receiving the diagnosis.

They affect spouses who become full-time caregivers.

Children who become parents to their own parents.

Friends who slowly watch decades of shared memories disappear.

Neighbors who step in to help.

Entire communities.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, millions of Americans are currently living with Alzheimer’s disease, while millions more family members and friends provide unpaid care every single day. Behind every statistic is a family trying to navigate one of life’s most difficult journeys.

Support, Presence and Memory

If you know someone living with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, be patient.

Visit them.

Call them.

Listen.

Support the caregiver.

Sometimes your presence means far more than your words.

As I think about Steve, Doug and Gail, Fran, Paula and Bruce, Billy and Jeraldine, and the countless others facing this disease, I’m reminded that memories are among life’s greatest gifts.

When someone begins losing those memories, we can become their memory.

We can remind them that they are loved.

We can remind their families they are not alone.

And perhaps that’s one of the greatest gifts any friend can ever give.

Here is “Jeri’s Song” by Billy Rice…….

If you or someone you love is caring for a person living with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, know that you are not alone. Reach out to local support groups, friends, family members, and organizations that can provide education, respite care, and emotional support. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help.

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